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blog du jour...
Sunday, September 07, 2003
Out of the Ark
They embarked on the Ark in pairs, two by two
The Elephants and the Kangaroos
The Rats and Mice and Cats and Dogs
The Bugs and Spiders and bulgy-eyed Frogs
Rhinoceros, Hippopotamus, Bison and Pigs
(The Ark must have been enormously big!)
Pelicans, Albatross, Seagulls and Shags
And Kookaburras laughing at all their own gags
Black as Night Ravens and Ugly old Crows
The Sloth should have missed out, because he's so slow
The Donkeys were stubborn and so were the Mules
And they both dared to call the Jackass a fool
Hyenas and Wolverine, Weasels and Stoats
And Rabbits and llama and Cattle and Goats
Poor Noah hunted for weeks, up hill and down dale
To invite all the animals out for a sail
He lined them up smartly, by species, in ranks
(So he knew where to run from, if the Ark sank)
He led them on board his great sturdy new craft
And was glad he'd not settled for building a raft.
~~ Virgin wool comes from ugly sheep ~~
Friday, September 05, 2003
Legs
Legs are handy, legs are neat
They provide a place to hang our feet
Legs are useful, legs are fun
And usually reach up to our bum
Legs are prickly and come in pairs
With epilators to pluck out hairs
If our legs were sexy and we're able
We could insure them just like Betty Grable
What, you don't like legs and bums? What's the matter with you? Look on the bright side, yesterday was International Penis Day... I could have written about that, instead.
Now, there's a thought...
In Honour of Penises everywhere (and no, I don't wish I owned one, thanks)
If I'd been born a penis
I'd be a happy chap
I could be kept nice and warm by
A chicky in my lap
If I'd been born a penis
I'd be breaking into song
At the mere thought of a woman
In a sexy, see-through thong
If I'd been born a penis
By my yardstick I'd be judged
And the inches in between 4 and 6
A man would never have to fudge
I wasn't born a penis
I'm a tidy streamlined job
And I can get lots of pleasure
From my new boyfriend named Bob.
C'mon, give me a break, I gotta start this somewhere and now there's nowhere to go but up!
~~ "Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you." - Mae West. ~~
Disclaimer
Some text included in this site has been liberated at and from great peril from the internet. Where possible, credit has been given or is marked as "Unknown", except for jokes - I don't make up jokes. I never was any good at that shit. All other content comes straight from the Brain of Moi. I reserve the right to retain ownership of my own drivel. Thank you very much :-)
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