Now, where was I? Oh yeah...

I went shopping today, literally shopped 'til I dropped - 'til my jaw dropped, that is. Yes, it's that time of year again when a second mortgage is needed just to get the critters back to school.

We went shopping for Heather's school stationery. $65 later, I am sort of remembering why I wasn't sure I wanted kids... now all I have to worry about is the $25 per school subject fee, the school fees of $120 odd and the acrylic paints she still needs for art class. Oh, and shoes. We mustn't forget them.

I haven't even started with Adam's fees yet.

I wonder what happened to going to Art and actually having the materials required supplied? It probably went out with the arrival of teachers who can't spell accurately or construct a full sentence. After all, someone has to pay for their inadequacy.

~~ A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. ~~

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Now, where was I? Oh yeah...

It cooks!

It cleans!

It pours drinks and makes coffees!!

It even does the washing up!!!

What is this amazing product, I hear you ask?

Its the New and Improved Kitchen Bitch 2004!

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(Click the picture to see an earlier reference to the KitchenBitch)

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But wait, there's more!

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What are you waiting for?? Call NOW 0800 BMYBITCH

~~ Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of. ~~

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Now, where was I? Oh yeah...

Did you know, no one was peculiar before the 15th Century? No, it's true, have a read of the dictionary meaning of the word peculiar;

Main Entry: pe cu liar
Pronunciation: pi - ky ul - y&r
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English peculier, from Latin peculiaris of private property, special, from peculium private property, from pecu cattle; akin to Latin pecus cattle
Date: 15th century
1 : characteristic of only one person, group, or thing : DISTINCTIVE
2 : different from the usual or normal: a : SPECIAL, PARTICULAR b : ODD, CURIOUS c : ECCENTRIC, QUEER
synonym see CHARACTERISTIC, STRANGE
- pe cu liar ly adverb

Must have been a real cow being peculiar before then, huh...?

~~ Give me ambiguity or give me something else. ~~

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Now, where was I? Oh yeah...

Sydney:

A man describing himself as a passionate masturbator has admitted that he spiked his own drink with the drug Rohypnol in order to have his way with himself.

The man told police he deliberately set out to prey on his own company by slipping the potent sedative pill into his vodka and tonic while he wasnt looking. He said from the onset his plan was to take advantage of himself while his defences were down. "I was really on the hunt for some self-abuse" the man said "and when I saw this hottie bit of hand leaning on the bar I slipped myself a mickey, and the next thing I know I was taking myself back to my place".

Police have described the man as one of several predatory masturbators currently operating in watering holes around the inner city of Sydney. "In fact, its fair to say that most Sydney bars are full of wankers" a police spokesman said.

~~ 98% of men say they are wankers; the other two percent are liars as well ~~

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