Tonight, someone is going to win a lot of money. It's Lotto Powerball night and there is a 17 million dollar jackpot up for grabs.

Winning that sort of money would be the next best thing to having a Genie grant you three wishes. Think of all the wonderful things you could buy and do and see and feel and experience with that sort of pocket money at your disposal.

Just imagine...

**cue daydreaming music**

...the ultimate "cave", a huge, majestic two storeyed house (with a lift or 2, of course) with lots of floor-to-ceiling windows, open fires in every room and a huge library of books, set in some wild and wind-blown spot overlooking a violent and hostile coastline with panoramic views to die for; big, fast powerful cars; every conceivable toy and gadget and everything remote controlled or voice activated; computers, video equipment, widescreeen TVs and data projectors mounted on ceilings; travelling the world in a private jet and seeing all my favourite bands perform; liposuction, cosmetic surgery, personal manicurist, pedicurist and masseuse with great big hands; indoor pool with well endowed pool boy; a harem of bronzed, buffed male sex slaves clad only in loincloths who exist only to fulfil their Mistress's (that's me) every whim...

**daydreaming music ends abruptly**

oops, you don't fantasise about having all of that, too?

Shit...there goes my reputation.

I think I had better go buy a ticket, hmmm...

~~ "I got a sweater for Christmas... I wanted a screamer or a moaner." ~~

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Daily life is full of vapid inanities. Every day I strike them; small, stupid, idiotic contradictions, or completely pointless actions.

The one I probably notice most frequently is Bill Gates wonderful logic in nesting the stop button inside the start one. Bloody stupid idea. "We are going to start shutting down now" - jeez, it's not a 747! He must of Irish heritage. But, he has indoctrinated the whole world into just doing it without question and paying him for the privilege...

That bit is not stupid.

I bought some plums yesterday. Every single plum has a sweet little sticker on it which proudly declares; "Product of USA". It even has the word "Plum" on it. WTF does a plum need a sticker for, doesn't it know what it is? But anyway, they are hard to remove and they don't taste very nice. Neither do the plums.

I have all this chinese medicine I take, and one lot is a tea that is meant to cleanse the body from the inside. It is absolutely vile. The actual tea taste is fine, but it's so sweet it tastes like someone drowned it in half a pot of honey. I mostly drink coffee (hold your tongue, it's good for you, it really is) without sugar. Drinking the chinese torture tea gives me an urgent need to have a very strong coffee to compensate. Bit of a pointless exercise, really. It's a bit like those quit smoking adverts on TV - all they do is make you want to light up right now...

The local hospital has no mobility parking spots anywhere near its physiotherapy department and there is a building in the middle of town that has a wheelchair toilet. Upstairs. But it doesn't have a lift.

You have to wonder, sometimes... what were they thinking?

~~ "Ignoramus microsoftis multa pecunia dat." (Yeah, where DO I want to go today??) ~~

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The kids went to the Red Shed the other day to buy their father a father's day present. They each had $5 to spend.

Heather chose a small picture for her father, and allocated the change to the purchase of some lollies.

Adam chose a large rock (don't ask me, I don't know why he chose a rock) and also chose a variety of lollies.

When the checkout was reached, Heather paid for her goods, and Adam found he hadn't budgeted very well. As he tried to decide what to buy and what to leave behind, it must have become clear to him that the rock just had to go. So it got left behind and he bought the lollies and chocolate and ate them.

Poor Dad.

Adam has a new concept under his belt now; misappropriation of funds. The rest of us are still cracking up over it.

~~ I live in my own little world, but it's ok they know me here ~~

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They embarked on the Ark in pairs, two by two
The Elephants and the Kangaroos
The Rats and Mice and Cats and Dogs
The Bugs and Spiders and bulgy-eyed Frogs
Rhinoceros, Hippopotamus, Bison and Pigs
(The Ark must have been enormously big!)
Pelicans, Albatross, Seagulls and Shags
And Kookaburras laughing at all their own gags
Black as Night Ravens and Ugly old Crows
The Sloth should have missed out, because he's so slow
The Donkeys were stubborn and so were the Mules
And they both dared to call the Jackass a fool
Hyenas and Wolverine, Weasels and Stoats
And Rabbits and llama and Cattle and Goats
Poor Noah hunted for weeks, up hill and down dale
To invite all the animals out for a sail
He lined them up smartly, by species, in ranks
(So he knew where to run from, if the Ark sank)
He led them on board his great sturdy new craft
And was glad he'd not settled for building a raft.

~~ Virgin wool comes from ugly sheep ~~

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