Now, where was I? Oh yeah...

There was a report on the news today about a young man in Dunedin who is to appear in court over charges of bestiality with a sheep.

Here is the news item from the ODT:

Remanded without plea
Court Reporter
A 19-year-old unemployed man facing two charges of committing bestiality with a sheep, and one charge of being in an enclosed yard in Hocken St without reasonable excuse, has been remanded without plea for a psychiatric assessment.

The man appeared before Judge Stephen O'Driscoll in the Dunedin District Court yesterday. And, at the request of counsel John Westgate, who also asked for the psychiatric report, he was granted interim name suppression.

All three offences are said to have occurred on September 25.

Granted bail with residence and curfew conditions and requirement not to go on to any private farmland, the man is next to appear on October 17.
Friday, 3-October 2003

Now, seriously, what's with that? What sort of protection do you use when shagging a sheep? Will the sheep get pregnant? Back in the olden days, condoms were made from sheep intestines; its a modern thing to make them out of latex. So, what sort of condom do you use for sheep-shagging? Ones made of HUMAN intestine?

Just another one of Life's little "I wonder why I never thought of that before?" questions.

I came across this site today, it's a real hoot. The address is http://www.sexualpositionsfree.com/. You really have to have a look at it. It's a showcase for a couple of dummies to show you every conceivable sexual position for oral sex, anal sex, 3 and 4 in a bed sex, woman on top, man on top, zero gravity (where do people come up with these???) and high-tech stuff, some with animated scenes. But wait, there's more... there are discussion boards and FAQs and... and... and...

It would take you at least month to try them all, and that's with a really fiesty partner, if you know what I mean.

BRB...


Here is a sheep-shagging joke to keep you amused while you wait.

A researcher is conducting a survey into sheep shagging.

First of all he visits an English farmer.

"So, English farmer,how do you shag your sheep?" "Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boot and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall."

"That's very interesting,"replies the researcher and he leaves the English farmer. Then he meets a Kiwi farmer. "So, Kiwi farmer, how do you shag your sheep?"

"Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my gumboots and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall."

"That's very interesting,"replies the researcher,"That's how they do it in England too." And he leaves the Kiwi farmer.

Then he meets a farmer from Australia. "So, Aussie farmer, how do you shag your sheep?"

"Well,I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my gumboots and I take the front legs of the sheep and put them over my shoulders."

"Over your shoulders?" replies the researcher, "Don't you put them over a wall like everyone else?"

"What?"says the farmer," and miss out on all the kissing?"

Simon sez:
If it takes 2 seconds on the back-swing, and 1 second on the forward-swing, how many times in one hour could you hit a gorilla with a baseball bat?

Once.

:-)

~~ ...and don't forget: two people in every one are schizophrenic ~~

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